Voices (~9 March 2020)
Updated: Apr 10
She learned to mute her voice - to remain in the shadows, hidden.
She was timid and reserved.
Be the good girl, the perfect girl, the frilly girl and, most definitely, follow the rules.
All the while longing for approval, love and to be seen.
Assuming too much on her slight shoulders; bearing a weight no child should bear. Realizing those same shoulders were built as strong as an oak.
Within this timid, slender girl existed a force to be reckoned with.
Unleashed in times of threat transmuting this young girl into a grizzly bear momma protecting her cubs.
Her voice became a full-bodied roar, leveling all in its path.
The praise she craved, and received, was given after she had roared.
In this way, her roar was deeply imprinted into her use of voice.
At first, the roar was used only for protection of self and family.
With every use she received the praise she desperately wanted.
The roar began to show up more frequently, as anxiety peaked or an injustice was felt.
Through both curiosity and transformative work she recognized this imprint of the roar. Accepting its frequent use to be unhealthy and damaging to her and her community.
This was yet another of her family of origin patterns she was here to break.
She now honors her youthful full-bodied roar for the necessary shield it provided her for self-preservation.
It is now safely tucked away - only to be used in times of real threat.
Music: Yaimi, "The Sacred"
~9 March 2020
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